The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon
A new report finds that protecting Donald Trump and his family is costing New York City taxpayers over a $1 million a day. Then Trump was like, “Thank God I'm not a taxpayer!”
Right now, the focus is on who Trump will appoint to his cabinet. In fact, C-SPAN aired a live feed of the elevators at Trump Tower that captured potential cabinet members going up to meet him. It even caught the moment when Ted Cruz was approaching the elevator and everyone inside frantically hit the “door close” button.
Trump’s campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, was being interviewed yesterday and said she’s “very confident” that Trump isn’t breaking any laws during his transition. Then Americans were like, “Uh . . . we weren't even suspicious until you said that."
Victoria’s Secret will open at 5 p.m. on Thanksgiving and stay open all the way through Black Friday. Because if there's one thing people want to do, it's stuff their faces all day, then try on some lingerie
Many Americans are planning to deep-fry their turkeys this year. But to save myself some time, I just stuffed my turkey with a Samsung Galaxy.
The Late Late Show with James Corden
Experts predict that this will be the busiest travel week in a decade. According to a Google analysis of historical traffic data, the best time to leave for Thanksgiving was 6 a.m. Last Sunday.
The best time to leave from Thanksgiving is right after someone mentions the election.
Today, the stock market hit an all-time high. Which is great news, because if there's one thing we've learned over the past decade it’s that if Wall Street executives are doing well, regular Americans are doing well.
The Dow Jones industrial average topped 19,000 today for the first time. When they heard that, Americans everywhere nodded in approval as if they actually know what the Dow Jones industrial average is.
A man in England has broken a Guinness world record by bungee jumping 240 feet to dunk a cookie into a cup of tea. That has to be the most British thing ever. It's pretty cool, but what made him even want to do this? Of all the things to do with your life, there is absolutely no reason to make tea time “totally x-treme.”
Late Night With Seth Meyers
According to reports, incoming White House chief of staff Reince Priebus tried to get Donald Trump to cancel today’s meeting with The New York Times because Trump could face questions he wasn’t prepared to answer. It’s the same reason he canceled yesterday’s meeting with Highlights Magazine.
President Obama today awarded 21 people with the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Said Obama, “You’re free! Quick, go before he sees you!”
Donald Trump said this afternoon that he was “surprised” one of his top picks for secretary of defense is not in favor of waterboarding. Man, you think you know somebody. And then they turn out to be a decent human being.
When asked this afternoon if he reads The New York Times, Donald Trump told reporters, quote, “I do read it. Unfortunately. I’d live about 20 years longer if I didn’t.” “Got your paper, sir!” said Mike Pence.
Apple’s top designer has created a special Christmas tree that does not feature any lights or decorations. Said the designer, “I . . . didn’t know this was due today.”